Kathy Di Giacomo, Author at Kathy Di Giacomo

5 STEPS AWAY FROM FEAR TO INNER SECURITY

February 8, 2020 By Kathy Di Giacomo Leave a Comment

Have the winter months frozen your hopes and dreams? Has the cold of the winter caused an emotional ice age? Have you thought about joyous free play as you did as a child?

I can help you move toward spring in your heart and that feeling of childhood free play.

Today I’d like to talk about breaking free and moving forward in your life. Confusion, conflict or fear may have caused you to let your memories or feelings be frozen safely away.

Did you know… One fearful person came to a master of martial arts and asked if he would teach him security. The master looked at him and said: … We grow old because we stop playing

– I will teach you only with one condition: for one month you will have to live in a big city and tell every person that you meet on your way that you are fearful. You will have to say it loudly, openly and looking straight into the person’s eyes.

The person became sad because this task seemed very scary to him. For a couple of days, he was very sad and thoughtful, but to live with his fearfulness was so unbearable that he traveled to the city to accomplish his mission………

Now I’m not asking you to do something like this although it was probably very life-changing for the person. But notice the master sent the person out alone. When you’re working with a coach you’re not alone. Your hand is being held every week with empathy, care and concern to guide and direct you to get results for your ultimate goals.

What to do… Here are 5 steps from fear to a inner security…………..

Don’t give anything external the power to alter what is inside, your courage, your value, and your worth!
Stay connected to others through your trials and challenges.

3. Trust your gut to guide you!

4. Learn to love everything that drives you to grow, evolve, and be great!

5. Don’t give away your power to negative people or situations!

These are just a few of the things we help you accomplish in one-on-one coaching.

You may be thinking “I’m afraid to look at these things. They seem very scary to me. Can I feel better about my life?”

The answer is “yes” you can. It’s available for you. And it’s actually not as scary as you think but very connecting and comforting. And you can try it for FREE BELOW.

Please reply and let me know if you would like to learn about other topics that would help you.

If you want to do more work in this area see below:

Kathy’s Confidence Coaching was founded with you in mind. I believe in divine intervention. You are here for a reason. My mission is to help as many men and women as I can to discover who they are and accomplish great things. It’s not an accident you arrived here when you did.

NOTE: If this newsletter helped you please reply>> If you would like a free 45 minutes “End fear now” Breakthrough Coaching Session” or any current issue you are dealing with now. SCHEDULE HERE

Don’t wait!! Let’s talk!! 3 easy steps;

If you don’t struggle with the above topic?

Then let’s address what you are struggling with NOW!
During our phone call, we will learn about the struggle you face, and together envelope personalized SOLUTIONS that work for you.
Implement the methods we create and see results!! Simple!

SCHEDULE HERE

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4 STEPS TO STOP THE BULLY IN YOUR HEAD! HOW NEGATIVE THOUGHTS BULLY YOU.

February 1, 2020 By Kathy Di Giacomo Leave a Comment

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Do you struggle with thoughts that put you down?

Do you have a bully in your head?

Bullying is defined as repeated and unwanted aggressive verbal, emotional or physical abuse. Having these verbal and emotional words directed towards you on a constant basis creates negative thinking about yourself. This negative thinking is produced and occurs over time with an imbalance of power between the bully and the victim: YOU.

MY STORY

From age nine to sixteen I was raised with verbal and emotional abuse. As a result, I struggled with anger and depression until I learned that verbal abuse was being bullied and was worse than physical abuse. As I became an adult, I learned all about what abuse or bullying can do to a person. After becoming aware of how damaging bullying can be and putting that knowledge into practice, I became aware that I could think differently. I could not monitor my negative thinking by myself because I could not feel good long enough about myself to stand up to the mental bully alone. I got a coach and with her empathy and caring, I felt the courage to address the negative thinking. As I went on the journey of training my mind to think differently about myself, I gained freedom from the negative thoughts that kept me in self-hatred.

Did you know… As I became aware of the negative thinking that was created by the bullying or abuse that I received from my parents I realized why I was insecure and had low self-esteem. So, I began my research journey in personal growth to become healed and whole. I made a decision that I wasn’t going to live like that anymore. One of the ways I did this was to change the way I thought about myself. You see when you’re bullied or abused verbally your value of yourself goes way down and you think that’s the way you should treat yourself. It somehow subconsciously feels right to you. And that’s when self-hatred enters into your psyche which causes you to not value or care about yourself.

You are a very important component in the fight against mental bullying. Changing how you think about and treat yourself are the key factors that help you change your perception of who you really are.

Why it matters… The negative thoughts that come to your mind tell you things like you are worthless, you have no value, you can’t do things. We will call the negative thoughts your “gatekeeper”. We all have a gatekeeper. Some people’s gatekeepers are meaner than others are. The gatekeeper is someone who stands at your gate of accomplishment, positive thoughts, or enthusiasm and bullies you by telling you negative things about yourself. You may have had a verbal abuser sometime in your life and your mind doesn’t know or realize the difference between the verbal bullying or the thinking that goes on in your mind that bully you.

If you were verbally bullied as a young adult or child those words enter into our mind and don’t go away. At a certain age when you are young whatever is said to you, you believe It’s true. That belief follows you through life and develops into the bully or gatekeeper in your thoughts. The gatekeeper usually shows up later in life after you are away from the verbal bullying because the words are still there.

What to do…Steps to overcoming the “gatekeeper” “First” imagine an image in your head of someone mean. Example: the joker, or whoever symbolizes someone for you who feels mean. It helps to have a visual in your mind for a point of reference.

Stand up to the gatekeeper. If you hear negative words in your head, stand up to them. Say: “oh it’s just you gatekeeper.” Not participating with the old tapes of negative thinking will change how you feel about yourself. Make sure that you are actively taking a stand to prevent the gatekeeper from getting your attention further.

You can interfere with the gatekeeper by

Speaking to the gatekeeper and replacing new words about yourself. Creating affirmations to say out loud that are positive about who you are or the opposite of what the gatekeeper is telling you.
Make it clear to the gatekeeper that you don’t participate in those kinds of words anymore. Try saying something like, “I don’t like those words. These are the words I use now”
If the gatekeeper is intentionally telling you that you are left out, tell the gatekeeper “you are lying”, because I am included. Try saying out loud something like, “I believe I am wanted, included, and valuable!

Please reply and let me know if you would like to learn about other topics that would help you. If you want to do more work in this area see below:

NOTE: If this newsletter helped you please reply>> If you would like a free 45 minutes “REMOVE THE BULLY NOW “ Breakthrough Coaching Session”
or any current issue you are dealing with now. HERE

During the “REMOVE THE BULLY NOW ” breakthrough coaching session, you will:

Get a crystal-clear vision for managing YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.
Create milestone objectives for consistent relief.
Develop a three-stage action plan.
Uncover hidden challenges sabotaging you.
Leave the session renewed, energized and inspired to live free of the gatekeeper.

I help entrepreneurs heal from past pain or failures, gain confidence and experience mental freedom to 10x their business income.

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END ANXIETY AND GRIEF FOREVER

January 21, 2020 By Kathy Di Giacomo Leave a Comment

Are you stuck in sadness or grief? Grab a boogie board… Let the tears flow and see below what happens…it’s amazing!!

Have you ever been to the beach and had a boogie board? You were just waiting for that nice wave to peak so you could jump on it with your boogie board and ride it in?

The pain that comes to you from losses and grief is like that wave and we must grab it and ride that wave of grief or pain so we can heal. More about how to do this later.

I too have struggled with anxiety and grief. I remember the day my dad passed away. I was right in the middle of getting my bachelor’s degree. I remember thinking what’s my purpose is now, and can I get through this?. My dad’s passing affected me with much grief and anxiety. I remember thinking “what was my dad’s life for?” You see my dad was my abuser, but I loved him dearly. So, as a result, I experienced Extreme grief and mixed emotions. It took me 2 years to sort out those emotions. Since then in my journey as a psychotherapist, I have learned tools to help shorten the process.

Did you know…Some people refuse to exhibit any kind of outward emotion? This is not healthy. Pent-up feelings are harmful and need to be released. If you do not release your emotions at appropriate times your emotions will eat away at you on the inside.

Stuffing or suppressing our feelings can also cause physical problems such as sleep troubles, digestive issues and more. Have you ever gone to the Dr. or know anybody who has gone to the doctor because they were convinced something was wrong with them? The doctor ran all kinds of tests and figured out It was just anxiety?

We hear that all the time, don’t we? Our emotions will manifest themselves somehow so it’s best for us to deal with them before they deal with us.

Why it matters…God created us with tear glands and the ability to cry, which means there will be times in life when we need to weep. Tears are part of the process of healing your soul. God wants you to bring your pain to him. He already knows our pain but getting it out is very helpful to our physical bodies and mental stability.

What to do…It’s important that we weep and let the grief out at the times when we are feeling sad. Here’s how it works: Each time sadness comes over us, “stop what you’re doing”, sit with it, wright about it, and acknowledge what you need to grieve about.

It’s like a wave on the beach, each time the wave comes, which is the pain of the sadness, as you would with a boogie board you need to grab the wave of pain and grieve it out.

If you do that thoroughly and repeatedly the next time sadness comes the pain will be less than the last one. And each time you grieve out each sadness or loss the pain lowers every time.

Then an amazing thing happens. There are chemicals and hormones that are released in your body that create healing.

Always remember that the season for sadness will come to an end, as you grieve these wounds of pain in your life properly the result will be mental and physical healing and great joy.

If you would like a free 45 minutes “END ANXIETY NOW “ Breakthrough Coaching Session”
or any current issue you are dealing with now.

HERE

During the “END ANXIETY NOW” coaching session, you will:

Get a crystal-clear vision for managing anxiety.
Create milestone objectives for consistent relief.
Develop a three-stage action plan.
Uncover hidden challenges sabotaging you.
Leave the session renewed, energized and inspired to live free of anxiety.

Don’t wait!! Let’s talk!! 3 easy steps;

You don’t struggle with the above?

1. Then let’s address what you are struggling with NOW!

2. On the call, we will create customized approaches for you to address your personalized SOLUTIONS for your struggle.

3. Implement the methods we create and see immediate results!! Simple!

Kathy’s Confident Relationships Coaching was founded with you in mind. I believe in divine intervention. You are here for a reason. My mission is to help as many men and women as I can to discover who they are and accomplish great things. It’s not an accident you arrived here when you did.

Don’t let another sun-set on today without taking action to change your life. This could be you on the beach receiving coaching to build an extraordinary new life.

As a psychotherapist, confidence and relationship coach, and a codependent expert. I bring a wide range of professional and life experiences to your coaching experience.

Marriage & Family Therapist Associate, MA, AMFT

I’ve written the book “Boundaries to Freedom” (on Amazon) and some smaller books on self-care and toxic thinking.

You “can” become an effective communicator, gain freedom from worry, set new boundaries, feel greater well-being, and create an extraordinary new life.

Website Kathy’s Confidence and Success Coaching

Click above & Download your 2 FREE life-changing short E-books RIGHT NOW! They expand on the topics in this newsletter to utilize more strategies.

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Codependency Boundaries and Relationships

April 6, 2019 By Kathy Di Giacomo Leave a Comment

Hello, I’m so glad you clicked on the link…As promised….

“My stepmom was mean and cruel to my sister and me”

My stepmom was mean and cruel to us and my dad was loyal to her. She would rile him up against us. She would yell “beat them Lale” and he would. He would drink and get very angry.

The verbal abuse was continuous with judgment, criticism of our feelings, and yelling at us for inappropriate reasons. One incident I remember well was when my stepmom would scream in a high-pitched voice when I was eating “hold your fork right” and I had not even been instructed there was a “right” way to hold a fork. To this day I can hear that high-pitched scream in my head, but it does not affect my emotions or confidence as a person now.

My sister and I ran away several times only to have the police side with my dad and stepmom

I am so excited about this NEW book release. I have put a sample piece here of what is in the book.

Have you ever finished talking to someone and felt misunderstood or disrespected? Or felt a little crazy from what they just said to you?

You are not alone. You can learn how to reverse what has happened to you and how what happened affected you.

Boundaries to Freedom

In the book Boundaries to Freedom you learn how to set healthy boundaries, have more confidence and think differently about yourself. You will gain the empowerment and confident feelings you have always wanted. Learn how to filter and detach from the accusations, blame and degrading comments that are verbally directed at you. Change how negative responses from toxic relationships affect you and brings hope of repair. You will create relationships that are welcoming and pleasurable. Recover from sadness, depression, and hopelessness in your life and your relationships.

My Story

Di Giacomo tells her story about how she was verbally and emotionally abused most of her life. She gives examples of what happened to her, and how she learned to be confident and healed from it. She tells the inspiring story about how she got free from the mental and emotional damage that results from continuous abuse.

What you get

In Boundaries to Freedom, you get a helpful list of healthy and non-healthy boundaries to print out. This list will give you a quick reference to use when you are being bombarded by someone verbally or emotionally abusing you. The list will teach you how to know a healthy boundary from an unhealthy one.

Learning to have healthy boundaries is an exciting adventure, an exercise in personal liberation. It means coming to know ourselves and increasing our awareness of what we stand for. It also means self-acceptance and knowing that we are OK just as we are and worthy of the good things in life.

There are several areas where boundaries apply: Here are some of them::

Material boundaries

Determine whether you give or lend things, such as your money, car, clothes, books, food, or toothbrush.

Physical boundaries

These pertain to your personal space, privacy, and body. Do you give a handshake or a hug – to whom and when? How do you feel about loud music, nudity, and locked doors?

Mental boundaries

These apply to your thoughts, values, and opinions. Are you easily suggestible? Do you know what you believe, and can you hold onto your opinions? Can you listen with an open mind to someone else’s opinion without becoming rigid? If you become highly emotional, argumentative, or defensive, you may have weak emotional boundaries.

Emotional boundaries

Distinguish separating your emotions and responsibility for them from someone else’s. It’s like an imaginary line or force field that separates you and others. Healthy boundaries prevent you from giving advice, blaming or accepting blame. They protect you from feeling guilty for someone else’s negative feelings or problems and taking others’ comments personally. High reactivity suggests weak emotional boundaries.

More of what’s in the book:

The Difference Between Love and Rescue

People who grow up in a dysfunctional family may fail to learn the difference between love and sympathy. Children growing up in these conditions may learn to have sympathy for the emotional crippling in their parents’ lives and feel that the only time they get attention is when they show compassion for the parent. They feel that when they forgive, they are showing love. Actually, they are rescuing the parent and enabling abusive behavior to continue. They learn to give up their own protective boundaries in order to take care of the dysfunctional parent.

In adulthood, they carry these learned behaviors into their relationships. If they can rescue their partner, they feel that they are showing love. They get a warm, caring, sharing feeling from helping their partner – a feeling they call love. This may actually encourage their partner to become needy and helpless. An imbalance can then occur in the relationship in which one partner becomes the rescuer and the other plays the role of the helpless victim. In this case, healthy boundaries which allow both partners to live complete lives are absent. Mature love requires the presence of healthy and flexible boundaries.

Sympathy and compassion

These emotions are worthy qualities, but they are not to be confused with love, especially when boundaries have become distorted. Healthy boundaries lead to respect for the other and equality in a relationship, an appreciation for the aliveness and strength of the other person, and a mutual flow of feelings between the two partners – all features of mature love. When one partner is in control and the other is needy and helpless, there is no room for the normal give-and-take of a healthy relationship.

To read more about the book you can go here:

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Personal Boundaries and Abuse – The Anger is not your Fault

March 23, 2019 By Kathy Di Giacomo Leave a Comment

I was attracted to more abuse as a young adult.

I had no personal boundaries.

Anger and Abuse. This story shows that being around abuse can create anger, lack of confidence and negative thinking. Anger, lack of confidence and negative thinking can become a part of you. The negative thinking becomes a part of your brain. You fail to learn personal boundaries.

Searching for the missing piece of love continued with more chaos and fear around living with my dad. The ridicule and physical fights between my dad, sister, and stepmom kept me in hypervigilance mode for eight years. I never knew what was going to happen next. My stepmom was mean and cruel to my sister and me. Dad was loyal to her. Part of her cruelty was getting him riled up against us. She would yell “beat them Lale” and he would beat us. He would drink and get in rages. She would drink and run around the house naked and sleep with other men.Continue Reading

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5 STEPS AWAY FROM FEAR TO INNER SECURITY

I can help you move toward spring in your heart and that feeling of childhood free play.

The person became sad because this task seemed very scary to him. For a couple of days, he was very sad and thoughtful, but to live with his fearfulness was so unbearable that he traveled to the city to accomplish his mission………

What to do… Here are 5 steps from fear to a inner security…………..

These are just a few of the things we help you accomplish in one-on-one coaching.

If you want to do more work in this area see below:

If you don’t struggle with the above topic?

4 STEPS TO STOP THE BULLY IN YOUR HEAD! HOW NEGATIVE THOUGHTS BULLY YOU.

Do you struggle with thoughts that put you down?

Do you have a bully in your head?

END ANXIETY AND GRIEF FOREVER

Don’t let another sun-set on today without taking action to change your life. This could be you on the beach receiving coaching to build an extraordinary new life.

Codependency Boundaries and Relationships

Hello, I’m so glad you clicked on the link…As promised….

“My stepmom was mean and cruel to my sister and me”

I am so excited about this NEW book release. I have put a sample piece here of what is in the book.

Have you ever finished talking to someone and felt misunderstood or disrespected? Or felt a little crazy from what they just said to you?

You are not alone. You can learn how to reverse what has happened to you and how what happened affected you.

Boundaries to Freedom

My Story

What you get

Learning to have healthy boundaries is an exciting adventure, an exercise in personal liberation. It means coming to know ourselves and increasing our awareness of what we stand for. It also means self-acceptance and knowing that we are OK just as we are and worthy of the good things in life.

There are several areas where boundaries apply: Here are some of them::

Material boundaries

Determine whether you give or lend things, such as your money, car, clothes, books, food, or toothbrush.

Physical boundaries

These pertain to your personal space, privacy, and body. Do you give a handshake or a hug – to whom and when? How do you feel about loud music, nudity, and locked doors?

Mental boundaries

Emotional boundaries

More of what’s in the book:

The Difference Between Love and Rescue

Sympathy and compassion

To read more about the book you can go here:

Personal Boundaries and Abuse – The Anger is not your Fault

I was attracted to more abuse as a young adult.

I had no personal boundaries.

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