Are you afraid? Are you having anxiety over what’s going on in the world or with the virus? Let’s talk about that today.
In my 30’s I had anxiety so bad that I panicked, and my throat became restricted. My head was spinning, and my emotions were all over the place. I felt defeated, insecure and frustrated. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn.
What happened: I remember the day very vividly when suddenly out of nowhere I became very anxious. I felt it mostly in my chest. I was even more afraid when my throat started to close up, so I called my neighbor next door and she came over and helped me calm down. She made some tea so I could drink hot tea and relax.
I was so grateful to have someone to help me in my moment of fear and anxiety. When I got my head in the right place after many occasions of having anxiety and panic attacks, I realized through much self-reflection that what had happened to me in the past had finally caught up to me. The verbal abuse, and the negative things that were said to me, were all affecting me now because I didn’t address them earlier in life. I decided that I wasn’t going to live like a victim of this anxiety anymore.
Time for recovery
I got into recovery for my own part in it and found a therapist and several coaches. With their guidance, empathy, and caring, I felt the courage to address my negative thinking which was a result of verbal abuse, and the negative things that were said to me growing up. As I went on a journey of training my mind to think differently about myself, I gained freedom from the negative thoughts that surprisingly got rid of all the panic attacks and anxiety.
Here are some questions that you could answer for yourself to clarify how to get confidence and courage in times of anxiety.
If you would like to hear more of my interview on this topic, it is available at FIND YOUR BRAVE MASTERCLASS Go Here
Where does true confidence come from and how can you develop it? True confidence comes from realizing that you are valuable, special, and a treasure. The way that you learn and realize that about yourself is to take the time out of your busy life to have what I call “me time”. “Me time” begins with five minutes a day and grows into a lifelong habit. “Me time” is about learning mindfulness, self-care, journaling, speaking to yourself in a positive way, and dealing with the negative cognitions that come to your mind and put you down and bully you.
Did you know…One other thing you can do along with “me time” is to change the way you think about yourself.
When you’ve been verbally abused your value of yourself goes way down and you think you should neglect yourself and treat yourself badly. Somehow in your subconscious mind, it feels right to you. When you begin to devalue yourself that’s when self-hatred enters your psyche.
Why it matters… You need to have the courage to stand up to the bullying in your mind. What does it mean to be courageous and stand up to it?
Being courageous is challenging yourself to do the things that you really do not want to do. Facing hard things that you really do not want to face. Confronting and dealing with the fear of doing something you are afraid of even though it will help you. Characteristics of courage ARE compassion, determination, confidence, and even fear.
What to do…How do you demonstrate courage in your life?
Demonstrating courage is asking for help when you do not want to. By digging deep into the reason for your negative behaviors by looking at what you are thinking about that created those behaviors. Standing up to the bully in your head (the old tapes you believed growing up) that try to tell you you’re not worthy or good enough changes your negative thinking. Sometimes to do this you need a personal hero or mentor to walk this journey with you and give you the extra courage you need.
Who is one of your personal heroes?
It’s good to have a personal hero to model your life after. My personal hero is a woman, who is 78 years old and has lived through physical, mental, and sexual abuse from age 5-18 from her own father. She then was abandoned by her 1st husband and raised their child alone. She was ostracized from her community for doing what she believed she was supposed to do. At 78 she is still going strong helping people less fortunate, supporting and helping sex trafficking, rebuilding communities that have had a catastrophe, and teaching people all over the world. Who is she? Joyce Meyer
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